It is said that on the average out of 168 hours a week, couples spend only 15 minutes a week to talk. You cannot even tell if this 15 minutes of talk is on a lighter or deeper level.
What does it mean to connect on a deeper level…. or effective communication.
Set time aside for connecting as a couple. For example; just before bed time spend time to talk, ask each other questions like:
How was your day?
How are you feeling?
What’s going on?
These question set the tone for a deeper connection.
It is said that it takes about 9-14 years for couples to be fully dependent on each other. Therefore if intentional steps are not taken to connect, each person can function independently without the other person, but remember it tears you apart instead of bringing you together.
Watch your response as you seek to connect deeper. Stay away from one word answers, try to put together a sentence. For example when asked a question like;
How are you feeling? Please do not say “fine” and leave it there.
Trying to choose a good response keeps the connection going and the bonding solid.
Usually am not for putting males and females into categories or in “a box” but I find this true.
When it comes to communication women are USUALLY like dogs – very friendly and always ready to talk or do something and men USUALLY tend to be like cats – independent, isolated and solitary, you need to take time to woo them.
To help connect on a deeper level have the desire to be known and to know. This is a continuous process, it starts when you are dating. Discover who you are in every season and make adjustments to make each of you comfortable enough to keep the connection going.
Again sometimes men find it easier to pull back from emotional intimacy and they usually do not communicate in marriage. You need to keep wooing them.
Women are usually multi task and can focus on many things at a time. Therefore you must encourage them to keep a good balance especially when kids are also a part of their focus.
Men can focus on one thing at a time so women must learn to give little chips ahead and the details later. Do not pour everything out like that to them.
In your quest to connect you must listen to understand. Naturally everyone wants to be understood but some how you forget that you also need to understand the other person. Listen with the aim of trying to understand and your response will seek to connect and not disconnect.
You also need to remember that you are different from each other and our individuality brings the nice balance to the marriage.
James 1:19
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Connecting on a deeper level
It is said that on the average out of 168 hours a week, couples spend only 15 minutes a week to talk. You cannot even tell if this 15 minutes of talk is on a lighter or deeper level.
What does it mean to connect on a deeper level…. or effective communication.
Set time aside for connecting as a couple. For example; just before bed time spend time to talk, ask each other questions like:
These question set the tone for a deeper connection.
It is said that it takes about 9-14 years for couples to be fully dependent on each other. Therefore if intentional steps are not taken to connect, each person can function independently without the other person, but remember it tears you apart instead of bringing you together.
Watch your response as you seek to connect deeper. Stay away from one word answers, try to put together a sentence. For example when asked a question like;
How are you feeling? Please do not say “fine” and leave it there.
Trying to choose a good response keeps the connection going and the bonding solid.
Usually am not for putting males and females into categories or in “a box” but I find this true.
When it comes to communication women are USUALLY like dogs – very friendly and always ready to talk or do something and men USUALLY tend to be like cats – independent, isolated and solitary, you need to take time to woo them.
To help connect on a deeper level have the desire to be known and to know. This is a continuous process, it starts when you are dating. Discover who you are in every season and make adjustments to make each of you comfortable enough to keep the connection going.
Again sometimes men find it easier to pull back from emotional intimacy and they usually do not communicate in marriage. You need to keep wooing them.
Women are usually multi task and can focus on many things at a time. Therefore you must encourage them to keep a good balance especially when kids are also a part of their focus.
Men can focus on one thing at a time so women must learn to give little chips ahead and the details later. Do not pour everything out like that to them.
In your quest to connect you must listen to understand. Naturally everyone wants to be understood but some how you forget that you also need to understand the other person. Listen with the aim of trying to understand and your response will seek to connect and not disconnect.
You also need to remember that you are different from each other and our individuality brings the nice balance to the marriage.
James 1:19
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
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